Earlier this week I got a call from my momma saying that the air on her car had gone out. Since their car was still under warranty they were going to take it back to the dealership to have it fixed. She suggested that while her car was getting fixed I could meet them out there and go shopping while they waited. I love to go shopping, and with my mom shopping means Hobby Lobby and Archiver's, my two favorite scrapbook stores!! So I agree and eagerly await Friday.
The only hitch in going shopping that day was no babysitters. The two tornadoes, Connor and Kenny, would have to go with us. But there would be three adults and two kids, one of which can't even walk yet. So Friday morning comes, we get up and immediately the chaos starts. Kenny wants a bottle right then and Connor doesn't want any breakfast at all. When I finally talk him into something to eat, he decides he wants a ham sandwich, his new favorite food. So I fix him half a ham sandwich to the soothing sounds of the eight month old screaming of starvation. Connor takes one bite of his sandwich and he's done. Typical.
I finally get them fed and wrestle them into some clothes, get myself ready and we leave. It's a good forty five minute drive from my house to where the stores are and surprisingly they're really good on the drive. I turned on some music, me and Connor sang along and Kenny slept.
I called my mom when we were pulling in the parking lot of Hobby Lobby and I see them parked right in front and my mom is waving to me while we're on the phone. Of course I wave right back, we're silly that way! What I didn't think about with the whole three adults versus two kids, was that they would pretty much be in the sole care of my dad while me and my mom shopped. We put Kenny in the stroller and gave Connor strict orders to stay with us.
So me and my mom are on the scrapbook stamp aisle and we here Kenny laughing behind us. We turn around and my dad is bouncing the stroller really fast, making Kenny jiggle. He wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or have that frozen look of terror on his face! Then we hit the paper aisle and me and mom are pulling out different papers, oohing and aahing, gathering up papers we must have in our collection because we never know what project we'll find on Pinterest to use them for, and we hear Kenny and my dad talking to each other. Yep, the eight month old and the fifty eight year old are carrying on a conversation. (I think it was a conversation, it could've been an argument) Kenny would make a sound and Granddaddy would make a noise back at him. My mom and I just looked at each other, shook our heads and went back to the paper.
Well, then my mom wanted to go look at the jewelry stuff because she had just bought herself a charm bracelet the other day and wanted to see if they had a certain charm. We should've never gone to that aisle; all sanity was lost on that aisle today. We start looking at the charms and I'm thinking how cute they are. Then we see the sign: All Charms and Jewelry Fifty Percent Off! Really? Alright! I grabbed a bracelet, and started picking out charms. All the while Kenny started getting restless in the stroller and Granddaddy gets him out and stands him on the step at the bottom of the shelf to let him play. I picked out several charms and realized I would need spacers to go between them. So I start perusing through the different spacers and not being able to find anything I really liked settled on some plain bead spacers. While I was looking through those I kept hearing raspberries from below me. I looked down and Kenny's attempting to turn the floor of Hobby Lobby into a pool with his slobber by blowing raspberries at my dad. And Granddaddy isn't doing much to stop him, instead he's blowing raspberries back at him. What a sight, the baby and the grown man blowing raspberries back and forth at each other.
So I pay for my 'some assembly required' charm bracelet things and we head out to go eat lunch. We eat at Steak and Shake where they give the kids hats and paper cars that has to be put together. So before I can even look at the menu I'm having to put Connor's car together then Kenny's because Connor informed me that Kenny wanted his too. Apparently toddlers speak baby talk because he's always telling me what Kenny wants. So I get the cars together and finally get my food ordered. While we're waiting I decided to make up Kenny's bottle. I get it all together and set it in front of him, turn back to my bag for something and when I look around Kenny has his bottle laying on its side on the table and he's sucking it down for all he's worth. Mimi (my mom) rescues him and helps him get his bottle. He downs it, we get our food, start eating and I give Kenny his little car to play with so he doesn't pull my plate off in the floor. What does he do? Throws it in the floor....repeatedly. I must've picked that thing up twenty times before we were ready to go.
Ok, we got through our meal and have one more stop, (or so we think) Archiver's. I've been waiting for this because Tim Holtz, the king of distressed scrapbooking, has brand new markers out that match his inks!! The clouds parted and I heard heavenly music! Again we turn Granddaddy into babysitter and we hit Archiver's like there's no tomorrow! The sales lady told Connor he could go back to the crop room and color. He was all for it. But I don't think he actually colored any. Somewhere between finding the new markers and looking at stamps I lost my mom, I wasn't really worried until I heard her shouting my name across the store. She was back in the crop room trying to change Kenny, who magically turns into a crocodile when changing him, he had peed all in his clothes. Good thing I had an extra set in the car. We get him all cleaned up and changed and go back to shopping. Then Connor comes to me and says his pull-up is wet. Well, at least he told me before his clothes were wet, it would be really hard to carry our entire wardrobe with us when we leave the house. I get him changed and back to my dad and go back to shopping. We make it over to the paper and I start hearing Connor calling for me. Was it bad that I pretended I couldn't hear him and hid in the aisles?
Once I made the final decision on which markers to buy, I made my purchase and went back to the crop room. When I go in, I see my dad and Kenny in some sort of wrestling match. My dad looks at me and says "It's like wrestling an alligator!" I nodded in sympathy and sat down with my charm bracelet from Hobby Lobby. I really wanted to get it together and wear it. I get the bracelet open and the charms and come to heart sinking realization. The little bead spacers and the charms won't fit the bracelet. Which makes no sense to me because they're all the same brand and was hung altogether on the shelves, I assumed they all went together. While I'm discovering this my mom again rescues Kenny from Granddaddy, gets him laid back, his pacifier in his mouth, and Kenny immediately goes to sleep. My dad just stares in wonderment. He said he had tried to do that, but Kenny just fought him and when he tried to put the pacifier in his mouth, Kenny shot it out across the room. Moms and Grandma's just have that special touch.
So back at Hobby Lobby, my dad decides to just wait in the car with the kids while my mom and I go back in to get the stuff we need. I found some jump rings for the charms and some bigger spacers and we're ready to go. See how easy that was without the kids?!
Once we make it back to the house I can't wait to put my bracelet together. I gave Kenny a bottle and then sat down with everything. I start laying out the charms in different orders to see what I liked best, because me OCD won't let just start throwing charms and spacers on willy-nilly, they must be carefully planned and symmetrical! I spend half and hour trying to get it just right, ranting to my mom on the phone about how it's not working, until I finally hit up on a combination I really like. I get three charms on and I hear Connor, "Momma, I'm through pooping!" which really means come clean me up. I get him all cleaned up and go back to charms. I get a few more and hear crying from the boys room. Kenny now has a massive blow out in his diaper and before I can get it cleaned up it ends up on his hand, his knee, my hand and my wrist. I get it all cleaned up, get a new diaper on him, wash my hands and go back to my bracelet. I finally think I have it when it slips and all the charms hit the floor. YARGH! I calmly pick them all up and get them back on the bracelet. Finally, finished. Then I set down to write this story. Between the beginning of this post to now I have dug four pieces of dog food out of Kenny's mouth, mopped up a spilled drink, dug bread out of Kenny's mouth, and washed Kenny's hair in the sink because Connor put hand sanitizer in it.
So all in all it's been quite an interesting day. I had a lot of fun being out with my parents, and I like spending time with my kids out like that. But it's like once they get home, all bets are off and they go insane in an attempt to drive me insane. However, I do have a brand new shiny charm bracelet where every charm says something about me, two new stamps that my mom bought for me for my birthday coming up in April, new Tim Holtz marker and a pack of Tim Holtz paper!
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