But that's not what I wanted to talk about today.
You know, a lot of people have a lot of advice when you become pregnant, when you have a newborn, pretty much any new stage of childhood, you get all kinds of either unwanted or sought after advice. I've read all these lists people post about "things they never tell you about being a mom", or "Ten things I wish I had known when I had a baby". I've read hundreds of these lists before. I've laughed at some of the things like, "You will never sleep again." True. I've teared up at things like "you will never know love until your son gives you a kiss and says 'I love you' all on his own." Which my two year old has recently taken to doing, and every kiss I get I squeal and tell him how much I love his kisses and his face just lights up.
But there is one thing I have never seen on any of these lists that I'm going to share with you now. No one tells you how creepy your kids will be! Seriously, they can scare the ever living daylights out of you. I'm not easily scared, okay, I like the jolt of adrenaline I feel with a good scare. But these toddlers are like combining all the horror movies and horror stories together into one small package. Stephen King has nothing on my two year old!
Why does he feel the need to come into our bedroom at 2am and just stand there, right beside our faces, for ten minutes without saying a word? Why can't he just crawl in bed with us? That's just what I need in the middle of the night, to roll over and have these huge eyes just starting at me two inches from my face! Once we wake up...with a shout of fear...and ask him what he wants, then he crawls in the bed and covers up, smiling at us. I heard him one night come into our room and go over to his daddy's side of the bed. I didn't move, I wanted to see just how long he stood there. I know I laid there at least five minutes before I felt my husband stir, then he jumped and I heard him ask Kenny what he wanted, which Kenny answered by crawling up into the bed.
Then there's the 'waking up after nap' scare he likes to do. He'll get up, silently, walk down the hall just a little way, and stand just out of sight. He'll stand there until I see him and tell him it's okay to be up. I've been walking through the house and just all of a sudden be aware that I'm being watched from the hallway or catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye. I have actually started down the hall and he just be there and it makes me give a little shout every time!
He also has a habit of standing right outside the bathroom door, still and quiet, just waiting to scare the crud out of me when I come walking out. Oh, and when he does this while I'm expecting him to still be asleep is especially scary! One day here recently I had put him down for his nap and gone to take a shower. I left the bathroom door open so I could hear him if he called. I got out of the shower, walked past the bathroom door and there was nothing there, I turned around for a second and when I turned back, there he was, just standing there, like he'd been there for a while! It took ten minutes for my heart to beat normally after that one.
Let's not forget the creepy things they can say that makes you just stop cold. When my five year old was about three, he kept telling me at night he was scared in his room, he didn't want to go to sleep. I asked him what he was scared of. He pointed to the corner and said, "the little girl." ......uh...... And there was the time during potty training that, while Connor was sitting on his training toilet and I was sitting on the side of the tub waiting, he suddenly looked up over my head, followed something back and forth with his eyes (me thinking there was a bug or something I looked up ready to swat but saw nothing in the room with us), waved his hand and then said "ok, he's gone."
There have been other creepy things he's said over the years that would make me pause. And I'm sure once Kenny gets to talking really good he'll have his fair share of creepy statements.
So the next time someone is telling you all about what to expect when having kids, or you're reading all these posts by people who have those cute lists on things they never knew, just remember, kids are also creepy!
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