As most of you know, I am mom to two boys. If you count my husband, three boys! Cause we all know grown men are just boys in big bodies! Sometimes I watch the three of them doing something together I wonder what in the world is going through their heads?! Unfortunately , (so far) I don't have a little girl. So I really have nothing to measure the difference between little boys and little girls, but I have to think, (maybe hope) that little girls aren't like little boys. I'm still hoping to have a little girl someday, but that's in God's hands. God, in His all knowing wisdom, and to my befuddlement, has seen fit to give me two.....boys. I say that hesitantly because I think my boys aren't all boy.
They're a mixed breed. I have seen:
1) Monkey: their feet hardly stay on the ground. They are always climbing on something. Every time I turn around I'm having to pull my almost two year old off of something. A chair, the back of the couch, the kitchen table, his table, the breakfast bar, the front of his high chair, etc. I'm surprised I haven't caught him dangling from the light fixtures yet.
2) Howler Monkey: My ears ring all the time because they think it's so much fun to scream out at the top of their lungs for no reason. When one starts, the other starts copying. You know, monkey see, monkey do! I don't know if they're trying to see who can scream the loudest, or the highest pitch, or what, but I'm surprised I can still hear.
3) Octopus: These boys can have more arms and hands than I do. It seems no matter how far out of reach I put something, they can still reach it. If I had a dime for the number of times I've taken things away from them they're not supposed to have, I'd be a billionaire. I can set down here at my computer to do things and here comes the two year old. He starts grabbing. I move things from one end of the table I'm sitting at to the other three or four times. You'd think all those toys they have would be enough, but no, they only want the things they can't have.
4) Monsters: Some of the sounds that come out of these boys are not human. They growl and groan and sometimes I think there has to be something other worldly in the house with me. Then I realize it's just them. The two year old does the most growling, but his older brother holds his own.
I've also noticed several things they have become proficient in. And I'm afraid that they'll only get better at these things as they get older. So here's a list of occupations they could be gainfully employed in when they reach adulthood:
1) Demolition Crew: If they go into business together in this, they'll make an absolute fortune and take care of me and their Daddy for the rest of our lives. I can't count on both hands the number of things I've had to super glue back together, or the things that just wouldn't go back together. I have a waiting list of my things that are waiting to be glued back together. There's a little hole in their wall behind their door that mysteriously appeared. You cannot leave them alone with a roll of toilet paper if you want any toilet paper left on the roll. And if they can't break it, they'll lose it.
2) Police/Soldier: They're scared of nothing. They'll try anything. Even after be threatened with a spanking, they'll go ahead and do what they were just told not to do. Even if they just got hurt doing something, they'll turn right back around and do it again. They have bravery just oozing out of them. Not to mention everything they pick up suddenly becomes a weapon. Nothing turns on my mom radar more than hearing my oldest say, "Come on, let's fight!"
3) Comedians: They could be a team! The oldest has a witty sense of humor and can say the funniest things at the perfect time. The youngest has a more physical sense of humor. Faces and body language is his specialty.
4) Nude Models: Not a profession I will allow them to do, but trying to keep clothes on these kids is near 'bout impossible! I can put pants and a shirt on the oldest and ten minutes later he'll come through the room in his undies! For no reason at all. And if I don't keep pants on the youngest, then before I know it, he'll come through without a diaper on.
5) Ninjas: For someone who is always making noise they can be sneaky when they want to be. I've always heard that when the kids get quiet, you better start worrying. When my kids get quiet I get down right scared! It doesn't take but a blink of an eye for them to get into something they're not supposed to.
You know the saying that boys are just noise with dirt on them. It's true, just in case you were wondering. My boys are always making noise, even when they're sleeping. And they're always covered in some kind of dirt, and usually it's sticky. The oldest has this one spot on his cheek that always has a black streak. I can wash it off and five minutes later it's back. The youngest usually has his dirt around his mouth. I sometimes wonder if dirt and stickiness grows from the boys, like instead of sweating, they just ooze dirt.
But you know, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my boys, all three of them, more than anything on this earth. It's amazing to me that my husband and I could create something so wondrous and perfect as these two little boys. They can do something and I think, that is their Daddy in them, then they can do something and I see myself. My babies are healthy, happy, they have a good nature, smart, funny, and imaginative. I couldn't ask for anything more. I know all the things they do right now that annoy me, make me mad or frustrated, will pass. They'll grow out of it. I'm so proud of my howler monkey octopus monster comedian, demolition nudist ninjas!
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